C U C K O L D E D

 Ayy lads looks like I ironically got hacked on Runescape, had my equipment as well as some of my most precious items ironically sold and cash ironically given away.

Layers of irony. Like an onion. Induces tears of pure joy.

 

 Knowing I had to secure my account I went through the necessary steps after hours of clicking around not being really sure of what I was supposed to do.

 My account is okay now, and I've started making up for the cash lost. If all goes according to plan, In a few days I will be out of this whole ordeal with a suit of armor better than my previous equipment. In fact, in the game's lore there's an entire philosophy of a deity that bases itself on this concept - That all the chaos one is put through will inevitably result in one surviving it a stronger individual than before facing it. Though the god of this religion - Which is an exalted extraterrestrial - and its followers tend to interpret this as "DUDE SUMMON DEMONS TO KILL EVERYBODY LMAO".

 Before succeeding, I tried making a post on reddit asking what I should do and if I can get my items back. The responses were pretty aggressive, and I got mass-downvoted for no reason. But I wasn't all that taken aback as I had previous experience with this - Back when Stellaris wasn't released questions that redditors deemed "asked too often" were also downvoted which probably resulted in some people being turned away*.

 Of all places, a particular imageboard helped me with my issue, which was really surprising, because you'd expect reddit the place to get help when redditors weren't busy downvoting people they didn't deem worthy of their time. Yet the same imageboard where my only answer to asking why France is so much more developed than Iberia or the British Isles in EU4 was a video of a dog getting thrown off a multiple story building was the one that came to my aid. This is some anime stuff right here.

 Bittersweet as this ending may seem, I still have 7m to rake over. Hopefully this won't be too infernal.

mfw I have to get my RuneBux back

___

 * - The funny thing is that the moment Stellaris was released everybody was hysterical about not turning people away by making fun of them for not being knowledgeable about Paradox games. At least I try not to be disingenuous when I want to give somebody on the internet a bad memey time.