Fullmeme Occultist

 I went full meme today's English classes.

 I got it into my head that I will act upon a "Suicidial memer" persona which was sparked by an inquiry of hers. For the neophytes, the "suicidial memer" is an ongoing theme of memes on certain parts of reddit and tumblr*. Here are some pictures associated with this current:

 You will see how I executed this in a moment.

 What sparked my behavior for the two hours was my teacher asking me if I could be able of being a more positive person or if I was capable of writing more positive things.

 I immediately realized why she was asking me this. Wherefore? She read my medpen(tm) composition on that test I took a week ago.

 I am going to write this post with newbies to the blog in mind because this is too good (Maybe pretty cringy in retrospect but yolofam). So bear with me.

 A week ago I took an English test as the class did. The final item of it was requiring the student to pitch a product, imaginary or real, and give some made-up contact details for further information about the good and its purchase. I decided that I'm going to contrive the cheekiest composition I can.

 There's no point in describing it when I actually transcribed it on a different piece of paper before having to hand the tests in, after we've been given them to check if they've been assessed correctly.

 It's been jotted down on paper definitively, and it will now be immortalized in the digital medium. BEHOLD:

 "Do you suffer from unpredictable epilepsy? Anxious that your convulsions will get to you in the middle of an important business conference?

 Forget fretting! With medpen(tm), a syringe concealed with** a convincing replica of a top-quality pen, you can inject yourself with you life-saving, nerve numbing drug on the go!

 And to top it off, if you order this product - Which I'm so grateful exists - within the next then hours, you will recieve a limited edition medpen(tm) which doubles as a crutch - You know, just in case.

 I've been using it for the last few months to keep me going in the fight against a fascist insurrection coiling around the heart of the US, and it's not failed me once***.

 For a measly sum of ten thousand grand, you too can place an order for your medpen(tm) by contacting www.hillaryclinton@gov.com.

 Have fun and seize seldom!"

 And this follows back into my mention of teacher asking me if I could perhaps turn up the positivity a bit. I have an autistic**** personal vendetta against positivity of sorts. To paraphrase I tell her that I'm not a positive person and that some people are not born to be positive, or something to that effect.

 And this is where my memory gets cloudy.

 I remember that the first English class was spent writing some sentences that were intentionally stretched by using phrases that could have been substituted with a word - A good part of which I didn't know. (Flights that occur on holidays or special occasions - Charter flights).

 I very faintly remember that I did drop some memey joke as the class was progressing, which I think was well recieved, but I can't for the love of me remember even what the gist of it was. The other memey remark was dropped at the end, and before and inbetween these I contributed to the actualy class itself in trying to find out what were the words meant to replace parts of a sentence.

 Neverminding that, the second remark was done in response to a response of the teacher to some solicitation of mine. I can't remember what the soliciation was*****. But teacher responded that she will fulfill/respond to it if I apologize for talking so much during class******.

 I respond in a tongue-in-cheek, a moderately but still derisive high-pitched voice, "I'm sorry for being so mean!". This gets another good reaction, from my classmates, feedback which reassured me to take the crazy to the next level in the upcoming class. I improvise a desk name plate out of paper and write "My jokes are ironic, my depression is chronic", with a tearing laughing emoji face being a placeholder for the "o" in "ironic" and put it on my desk. Everything afterwards is a blur.

 And other than the fact that I was in a drained (of anything but my snide juice) mood as this all took place I don't recall anything well. Which is even worse than usual for me.

 Let's hope this was some random occurence that won't happen again. But more to the point.

 What do I plan on accomplishing with this behavior? Well, despite how erratic it is, I do actually want to convince my form teacher that there's something wrong with me and will continue to allude to low self-esteem, suicidial ideation and the like. At worst, she'll be scared for me but won't try to inquire what makes me upset and I will get some kicks I can reminiscience about when I grow older and browse older posts of my blog. At best she might try to console me, at which point I'll redirect her to the school psychologist so she can inform herself about what I've told the latter about my current family issues and the former might try to help me.

 I'm looking forward more to the latter though. Because nothing beats devlishly disquieting suicidial-ironic humor.

___

 * - I ussualy dislike reddit's memes but this one is exempt because it's so good and relatable. Tumblr gets a pass because most of their ironic memes are transformed and appropriated into new memes by my favorite Myanmari imageboard and viceversa. Albeit I go kosher when it comes to the communist subtext of this "suicidal memer" trend.

 ** - Should've been "by" tbh.

 *** - Zesty reactionary subtext >:^)

 **** - Redundant for describing anything I do.

 ***** - (WAKE ME UP INSIDE)

 ****** - I wasn't even being one of the more disruptive students in the class.

Short update

 I'm writing more posts more often because school has deprived me of control over my life.

 But I found two useful webpages today.

 Firstly, I've managed to crack the code on how these words that result from a combination of a pronoun and a preposition are called and found myself a treasury of words that might help bring myself to the next level of English:

I'm learning this by rote 2bh

 Up next are words formed by adding an "a-" or "be-" as a prefix. Two leaps to make to decode a large part of the parlance.

 Could be feasible if I didn't forget two words for each new one I try to learn.

 Another was a very well-put together guide on how to draw pixel art.

 Notwithstanding I tried to follow each step of it as I drew a new drawing and I couldn't even bring myself to make a good outline this time.

 Not good with English, not good with art. Had to google idioms that end with part. To make one's own rhymes requires some smarts.

Another one of these short cancerous posts I've gotten into the habit of making

 (Fortunately it should be one of the last. I don't edit posts pertaining to a topic to add more recent information partly owing to sloth but also because I want this blog to be strucutred more like a journal I can look back upon)

  This guy (He's pretty infamous. Whether this is rightful or not is a matter of debate which I won't engage here. Wikipedia can describe his achievements better than I ever could.) has recently tweeted this:

 First Cruz decided to weigh his alleigeance with Donald Trump and now this, amid other things.

 2016 is a crazy year for politics and culture.

THESE MAY MAYS GAAAAVE USSSS *A LIFE* !

 These may mays now/Might fade away/They're crying out/It's much too late

 Truly this is the darkest timeline.

It is done

 Here's the pic promised earlier.

 Something about it tells me that I should really stop being so lazy and refrain from making more drawings without reading some proper guides.

Really making myself think

 I decided that since I've already gotten into the knack of listening to dialogue or prose in diverse forms as I play games I might as well get into some culturally relevant texts because I want to be made to really think huh.

 And since I was interested in philosophy and the little I knew about Aristotle's work* seemed to align with me to some ethical extent I thought I'd do well by searching some audiobooks of his texts.

Look at the duration of the videos.

 Already really fired up my neurons.

___

 * - I know that I know nothing oh wait wrong Greek philosopher whoops (Really triggers reactions in the synapses huh)

Today wasn't that bad tbqh

We're currently nearer to winter than to summer. Really makes ya think huh

  Tried making another pixel drawing. Though I only got to the coloring stage it's still reassuring to know I am still functional enough to make myself do something though partially.

  As it stands it's an aberrantly abysmal rendition of an anthropomorphic frog (the same character that featured in a previous drawing*) wearing a hoodie and resting on a beanie couch. It's also based on a real-life object/location only the most hardened esotericists will be able to recognize. Are you bad enough of a dude to take your hunch?

 ... As I look at the thing perhaps I should distinguish between the pants and anorak. Not that it's a difficult change to make. You'll likely see this done by tomorrow.

 Cherry on top, Hillary called Bernie supporters basement-dwellers just as some digging was done on some shady activity committed by Donald***. That's not shooting yourself in the leg, that's trying to stomp on a frog that's facing your toes and triggering an epileptic fit when your shoe hits the bare asphalt.

___

 * - There is a harrowing story behind it I haven't yet disclosed on this blog, and it ties in with me promising a post detaling my deliberation joining an alternative community to the alt-right** - A community with much more palpable boundaries to it.

 ** - I've dropped the alt-right thing because it's asinine to claim entry within a nebulous movement with no formalized hierarchy. A neon-haired commie would call me a reactionary, I use memes, and I sometimes perform some guerrilla trolling on liberal-left redditors. That should make me alt-righter.

 *** - Dammit Donnie.