Monday, 5 September 2016

A lovely streak of poor financial decisions

 Yesterday was not a good day for the spare change I had left in my paysafe codes.

 The first hit came when Steam announced me that Paradox games were on sale. Eager to get my blobbing fix under different guises, I bought Crusader Kings II and Victoria 2 (Hearts of Iron 4 had a smaller discount and I'm not that much of a WWII enthusiast to justify the expense). I've got a basic idea of how to play the former (Or what I'm allowed to in the very least. Literally over half the map requires DLC for the nations situated therein to be played. Thanks Johan).

 And Victoria 2 fails to boot up. It loads, then jumps to the menu, before minimizing and freezing my computer - I can still move my mouse around (which keeps the shape it would have when it navigates the game screen) but my clicks don't register. I might have to get a refund but then I will never become a blobber pro if I don't test my mettle with final boss of grand strategy gaming.

 The second came when Dota2 just had a thematic treasure released which contained Warhammer Fantasy themed items. WHF holds a special place in my heart because it was not only one of the first fantasy settings I read and "researched" about in moderate depth but also one of the first things I read on 1d4chan, which eventually got me to browse /tg/ which had as a consequence me becoming the master memer that I am today.

 One treasure was 2.20 euros. Each treasure, when opened, had a chance of giving the opener one of about eight common rarity cosmetic sets or an even smaller chance of containing a rare or very rare skin.

 Two skins caught my eye - one for the sniper character, which without a skin looks like a pretty ugly gnome. With that skin on he looked like a Warhammer dwarf, which were one of the coolest factions in an already cool setting. There was another skin for a character that operated a small gyrocopter that would change the look of the vehicle to a dwarven-themed model. A third which I did not notice from the start was a set of items that changed the look of a dragon character which was, at least in comparison to the other sets, aesthetically appealing.

 I initially bought three treasures - which were 6.60 euros. I got none of the skins I wanted, and I hesitantly bought another three. Another 6.60 euros. I didn't get the skins I wanted.

 And now I have six skins which are chaos and orc (Some of the primary antagonists of the Warhammer world) themed skins. If I'm lucky I could find somebody that would be willing to trade me the three skins I want for two of my skins each, which shouldn't be THAT hard.

 I also found out that the skins/sets become tradeable and sellable on the 11th of September*. A good ramification of this, is that because Steam vends items and games at prices equal in amount of currency but not in value (Which means, if I purchase an item for 10 euros, an American could purchase that item for 10 dollars) some Brazillian that's built his billion-dollar livelihood on buying items for what would translate to two British pence and selling them to westerners for half the price they go by will put up the skins I want for cheap, so I no longer have to bust another 6.60 euros to get them. The bad news is that this means I won't be able to sell my skins without being in red ink. It would've been better if I knew this beforehand, as I thought the sets would not be able to be acquired without buying those treasures.

 Needless to say, I'm not trying my luck with this kind of gambling again. Even feeding my money to the Paradox DLC machine would've been a better investment.

 I know I promised a post detailing the searing stuff that's gone on during my pocket of inactivity, and it should come shortly, probably tomorrow. Maybe today if I'm in an energetic mood.

 Moral of the story: Don't be a spoiled brat with too much disposable income and absolutely detached parents lads.



___

 * - Thanks, George Bush

Saturday, 3 September 2016

Whoa mama

 A L O T has happened since my last update. Including but not limited to family drama, getting into DOTA and just having finished another (and fortunately final) trip to another city.

 But it's a bit too late for me to satisfyingly go into all the juicy details, so instead have an epic OC I toiled pretty hard to create. Courtesy of the anon that happened to post the original picture on /wowg/

Background music

 Could be better but it's a start tbh.

Sunday, 28 August 2016

Super steamy spicy meme DO NOT steal!


 Toyed around with GIMP again because I had an idea for a new avatar. It actually came out nicely which was to be expected because it didn't require anything but cropping a few things and messing around with layers. A mentally impaired 5-year-old with Parkinson's could've made it.


 The following having been the superceded avatar:


 I think I'm being too greedy by appropriating a character I found on the chans as a persona, but the memes must flow. Depressive comfy knights that are too demotivated to get out of bed fit me like a glove.

 Maybe I have some talent in image manipulation I could use for the future. Remains to be seen. I'll definitely brew up some more OC so spicy that it would provoke nothing less than the fawning of Indian Rajahs* to check if this is the case.

___

 * - Because Indian food is spicy, ha ha. Somebody kill me.

Weight loss update.


 This will be short and will serve as a  substitue for the post promised yesterday at least for the moment.

 My attempts at losing weight have yielded results - Somewhat. I've reached a point where my skin is faintly pulling on the ribcage yet my stomach still lightly rests over the belt to an exent.

 I'm not sure if this is a good thing.

 Feelsfatman.


Saturday, 27 August 2016

Reconciliation with the alt-right

  
 Here comes one of the posts promised earlier.

 I've not done further research into the movement so this post is definitely going to be fundamentally inaccurate, but I'm going to write this anyways because I'll otherwise spend my time procrastinating.



 Agreement one - Racialism

 Human race exists. Period. National Geographic, Fox News, and even the nutty neoprogressives behimd this Gawker proxy have admitted that humans have different traces of Neanderthal DNA in their own depending on their location. Haplotypes also exist and they correspond to the location of ethnic groups across the planet. Ergo, race literally exists. The degree to which it does leads us to...

 Disagreement one - Racial discrepancy

 A lot of current deviations from the human norm within separate races are influenced by socio-economic factors - though they are not the sole cause. For example, one of the differences the alt-right seems most fond of bringing up to reinforce their point. But black poverty in the US factors largely into their IQ gap compared to whites (There is a study saying that even when compared in equal income brackets blacks scored lower than whites. I cannot confirm its validity. But I would be surprised if blacks naturally lagged in behind in IQ with anything greater than single digits). Asians have a strong sense of at times truly commendable collectivism and devotions to causes greater than the self that lead them to excel at things such as but not constrained to IQ tests, for example. Even jews, which I will not deny have the highest natural intelligence of all races, can attribute a lot of their success to their culture of cooperation and solidarity strengthened by centuries of oppression and prejudice****.

 Agreement two - Western Civilization is humanity's greatest to date

 It is, thanks to all the scientific advancement it has brought humanity, even singlehandedly bringing us to the post-industrial age (at the expense of non-western civilization, sadly). It is however not the only great civilization of the world and non-white cultures should be respected and held in about as high esteem as white/western civilization.

  BUT, whites are rapidly outliving their usefullness (My existence speaks volumes on this tbh). They're spending their time advocating for the most and most asinine trash (Including but not limited to making sex more of a big deal than it actually is - When ideally it should be an absolutely private matter. Do your wife, husband, <gender neutral term of spouse>, or even dog if the thing consents, but that is no concern of the society.) while non-white nations are lurking in the shadows ready to outpace them in demographical growth and scientific and infrastructural innovation.

 The alt-right is staunchly pro-white survival and is against the displacement that seems to take place in the current European environment, and while I personally am against the removal of almost any culture, I can't help but feel schadenfreude at this collapse of white civilization accounting for them having brought almost all of what is happening to them upon themselves after seeking hedonism and moral alternatives to Christianity just for the sake of being more secular.

 But I will push my mental illnesses aside and say that ideally white civilization should be preserved.

 Agreement three - (Almost) All cultures should be prized and globalism should be opposed

 Cultural diversity (The global kind, not the regional kind the left wants to impose) is as helpful as helpful as biological diversity - very. More cultures means more testing grounds for different methods of thought - Most of which can be equal in effectiveness depending on where and how they are practiced.

 I'm not sure if the opposition to globalism is only reserved for this cultural reason or if they also oppose its current economic incarnation where people from poorer nations are exploited at horribly depressed wages. Because I am against this kind of globalism as well.

 (Dis)Agreement two - Inegalitarianism/Hierarchism

 The alt-right claims to be against equality. If this equality they are talking about is of outcome, consider this an agreement, if it is of opportunity, consider this a disagreement.

 However, a safety net should still be put in place to ensure the unemployed's livelihoods are safeguarded regardless. As long as everybody trying to participate in good faith in the state's apparatus* goes to sleep on a fed stomach the rich can be free to exchange their quadrillions of dollars' worth of exoplanets to establish mining operations or whatever the rich would do with planets. You get the idea.

 (Dis)Agreement three - Moral traditionalism

 I've drifted away from traditionalism ever since I got my little hands on a keyboard and progressively morphed into an exact opposite of what the church around the corner would preach to be a just man.

 To cut it short - Yes, I'm a degenerate. A furry degenerate** at that - But I still firmly believe that traditional morality is the best way to sustain a stable and long-lasting society. I just don't practice this belief because any hope of the western world staying traditionalistic took a misstep on a land mine in 1918 and has slowly been succumbing to infections and injuries in a soaking trench ever since. In that respect, the alt-right was doomed to fail before it was even concieved because of this fact, and I'm only joining it out of principle (and memes) - Western society has become materialistic to the marrow and a bunch of people that are right of centre can't reverse this. My ideal authoritarian government is purely idealisitc and any involvment I show in right-wing politics is done out of a blend of contrarianism and what is left of my principle - Deep down inside I just want to ride this chaos that is the current political climate out.

 I want to go a bit into specifics - I originally was pro-gender/sex (XX and XY chromosomes) equality. However, a realization that's dawned upon me after seeing a discussion on the internet is that giving women the opportunity - nay, expecting them to get jobs has led to a depression of wages and equality only in recieving the same miserable salary at the profit of porky/the rich elite. In this regard I may have become more traditionalistic when it comes to marriage (Not that I'll marry anyways) and the treatment of women.

 Nevertheless, if a woman wishes to get a job expected of a man from the depths of her soul and can do it in equal or greater competence she should be given all permissions to do so.

 Disagreement four - Anti-islamism

 While Islam in its radical form is a threat, in its moderate form it is still an Abrahamic religion held up by fundamental Abrahamic tenets which have been informally certified to sustain well-functioning civilizations.

 I can understand alt-righters that want altough Islam out of the west - Though its moderate counterpart and the west aren't akin to water and oil - but then come those that want Islam completely driven out of existence, which I firmly disagree with (See me wanting to preserve culture above). There is a present risk of Europe becoming this in the following centuries:


 But the cynic in me screams that muslims will succumb to materialism before overturning current European culture***.

 And this is about it. Seems like enough of an ideological overlap for me. But the reader should keep in mind that I'm analizying an image of the alt-right which portrays it as a moderate movement that seeks cultural and racial homogenity consistently throughout the world and the pursuit of tradition. There are strong hints of white supremacy afoot which make me reticent to join it just yet.

 ... But even if they're false flags, do I really want to join? What does this 14-year-old memeslut have to offer to this political movement? I might just get painted as a subversive shill if I try to counter some alt-right points if my experience on /pol/ after somewhat growing out of the redpill is accurate. Where do I join the alt-right? It's clear to see that it's a movement, not an organization. There is no sign up paper. Is the a huge, non-anonymous alt-right forum somewhere out there where I could establish a presence and maybe find some friends among trying to have some decent discussion everywhere?

 If one thing's for sure, you won't be seeing my boast about what account I make on what site (too much) (maybe a bit) (lbh lads I'll do it a ton because I'm a neglected narcissist) - It's best to not just start screaming that I'm 14 - Instead I'll build a persona and consolidate it as I try and embed myself in the community in a symbiotic relationship. Then I'll reveal my age and being attention begging.

Allegorical meme
 And in case I change my mind, an alternative to the alternative right as a way to find a community exists.

 But you'll have to read about it in a future post.

___

 * - Somebody might accuse me of hypocrisy as I don't seem to entirely want to participate in the state machine in good faith. That person might be right. I'm going to be ambiguous.
 ** - I'll talk about this in a future post :^)
 *** - Would be hypocritical to condemn them for this tbbbbbh

"I'll write more in a future post"


 I have noticed an accumulation of posts where I vouch that I will go further into detail about a subject in a nebulously planned "future" post only to never deliver. There's been a noticeable increase in their incidence as of my latest post and I seek to correct this, having happened to forget about them by fortunate chance.

 In other news I've been looking up more information about antidepressants and the one that may help me (A medicine that especially treats the symptoms depression shares with ADD) with the most bothersome symptoms of my depression has high chances of causing seizures if I am susceptible to epilepsy - And I sincerely don't know this - and, apparently a staple of anti-depressants, will make me want to kill myself a wee touch little more than I already do. And I don't want to hand down the current knowledge I have of comitting suicide to a self that is more determined to go through with the act.

 Best case scenario I become a HIGH ENERGY mofo that can flawlessly channel all his splinters of the English language no longer concealed by brain fog into literary masterpieces. Worst case scenario I kill myself - And I can already do that without pretending I'm trying to better myself.

 The pessimists in me sees relief in either scenario. The question is - Is it worth it?

 And that's a tough pickle I find myself in.






Friday, 26 August 2016

Further insight into the alt-right.

 Turns out I was hasty to label the alt right as my eloquently put "Race exists and instead of showing this evident truth to all uninformed bystanders in as sensible a manner as possible we will stumble in the pitfall of claiming that minorities should be deported to their homelands, falling in the left's trap and giving them a free hand in portraying racialism and racism as synonymous! Does anybody else SJWS are cucks lol XD" strawman. While browsing r/The_Donald* I inadvertently discovered two web-pages that tried to clear up what the alt-right is. Here they are. My only previous exposure to the alt-right was a stream where Sargon of Akkad** butted in on a hang-out of alt-right members of which most held some rather controversial opinions which I thought were representative of the movement, which back then seemed little more than an offshoot of the /pol/ boards on 4 and 8 chin.

 Well, they've grown in size since then, to the point of catching the attention of a presidential hopeful which has addressed them publicly - Only giving them more publicity and thus numbers, one of which might be me. I will explain. But to do this we have to go back a little.

 My endgame for life is - Or at least used to be the following: Get by with as little as possible, garner my livelihood with whatever job life lands me (Probably a translator - But I'm unsatisfied with my English and my Romanian is lamentable to put it formally), live in voluntary solitude, celibacy, etc. and game away my free time with the added dreaming of humanity engineering biological immortality within my lifetime so I'll have an eternity to play away. Maybe even start a coveted authorship if I can drag myself out of the linguistical mire I'm in. I supressed whatever desire I had for companionship in hopes I will lose it as time goes on in hopes it will fade away on its own. I can assume it has worked to a point, as I still long for some companionship but no longer feel compelled to seek it in other humans. I don't know if the process can be furthered or reversed but I hope I haven't pushed myself into this pit forever.

 However, the incident since yesterday has somewhat resuscitated this desire for companionship***. Since in no way in hell I'm going to look for interaction within the physical presence of other humans I will have to look for a virtual community - And the alt-right seems to fit the bill to an extent.

 I've formerly written that I agree with the alt-right on just one aspect - That race exists, and on nothing else. However, that was describing what I agreed on with the fictitious representation of this movement myself. (I'll try to list my conflicting and according beliefs with the alt-right using the linked "What the alt-right is" post for reference - In an upcoming post. I've sperged enough in this one.)

 The essential is that I seem to agree with the alt-right just enough to not seem like a subversive element but disagree with them sufficiently to generate some interesting discussion if it ever came to that.

 And now my father asked me to arrage my school notebooks. I think I'm only doing more harm than good to the alt-right by giving lefties something to reinforce their argument that the movement is composed of little more than nazi nutheads and meme-addicted kids.

___

 * - Being banned from 4Xia made me descend into shady places more than I usually do. My plea for innocence this instance is that in spite of reddit's poor design as a site it is still somewhat better to get a quick rundown of current world news than an anonymous imageboard. It's also lulzy to try and reason with the far left that's scuttled its way into the very structure of the site since I last actively participated in it. Don't ethnic cleanse me lads.
 ** - The fat guy that bashes feminists, not the legendary emperor. He's nice background noise for video games. He also reads historical texts in an offshoot channel of his - Which has proven a good method of culturing my short attention-spanned self as I can both game and listen to essential works without missing out on the fun of both. I tried listening to the communist manifesto from cover to end twice but both attempts were cut short by my family issues. Third time's a charm, hopefully.
 *** - I'm a really lonely freak, okay?

 **** - I'd argue that with physical tasks becoming increasingly obsolete with technology that Jews are the master-race that should populate the earth tbh. Weak but clever people with a strong sense of duty and community are the future. Come at me /pol/.