Staying alive

He's supposed to have the blanket folded over his lap near at that distinct difference in the shading between the upper and lower body. I might This is something I might be able to fix, though. I also messed up the shading on the door.

"What are you doing?"

"Drawing bad pixel art."

"It's early in the morning. Why on Earth are you drawing bad pixel art?"

"Because I've lost control of my life."

 There were a lot of events I failed to cover in my lazy frame of five days I've avoided this blog. I've went through my first two days of actual school programme and they went along nicely. Some very relevant news is that my weaboo acquaintance has returned from two schools after having went through a week of participating in the classes of two nominally high-calibre schools. His classmates allegedly made memes of him, but other than those memes being normie image macros (Pictures with top and bottom text written in the Impact front on them) I've been incapable of squeezing more information out of him. He's shown to be much more convivial with me than how I remembered him last year - I guess I can stop beating around the bush and actually admit that he is a friend of mine, but "I have one friend" doesn't have the same ring to it as "I've had no friends for over one year now".

 My schedule has also been subject to some large changes. Chief amongst is the new classes we will take this year, two of which are Psychology and Entrepreneurship. The first class of the former was spent doing some short reciprocal introduction between the teacher and students which was followed by the teacher having us write the definition of Psychology in our notebooks. I've already forgotten it.

 Entrepreneurship was an entirely different matter. Judging by the name, I thought it was going to be somewhat of an economics class, but our first class was spent writing down and discussing what factors one should account for when deciding to sign up for a job. So in that sense I suppose it is meant to be a vocational class.

 What was most unusual however happened yesterday. But it requires copious amounts of context.

 When school starts, it's customary to give the form teacher a ceremonial/symbolic gift. Most often it's a boquet.

 My mother, being the absolute socially attuned and mentally healthy individual she is, thought that it would be perfectly ordinary to give my form teacher two boxes of chocolates that together would weigh about five hundred grams. While it wasn't that odd, it would've stood out as a gift when compared to the bouquets brought by the children that - or, more precisely, whose parents - had decided to be considerate enough to offer some. So instead I take it upon myself to carry out a devious masterplan - I avoid trying to bring attention to myself and getting myself in a weird situation and abstain from giving form teacher those chocolates. I lie to my mother about having given them, and sneak the plastic bag with the boxes in a concealed location. For the first two days of the week, I eat half of the contents of both boxes, because I'm still trying my best to dodge mother's ambitions of making me put on back the weight I've lost this summer. The third day my parents brought some supermarket cookies home and I could not restrain myself from helping myself to some, but to counter the calorie gains I could have incurred upon myself I do not eat another quarter of those chocolates. The fourth day I guess I forgot or didn't bother to eat more of the chocolates. The fifth day mom goes around trying to order some things in my room (Though I'm well capable of doing that myself and do so when it is necessary) and ends up finding the bag, and forces me to shut down my computer for the day and she takes my monitor and system unit into father's room. As promised, I have been granted access to them the day afterwards, which is to say today.

 And I'm upset about this because to some degree of consciousness mom knows my computer is my jugular. I refuse to put on back weight? She'll take my computer away. I do this incorrectly? She'll take my computer away.

 And I let her take it away that day without a fight. I'm not even willing to fight for the little I have. Even as I sit here typing and being fully aware of how my inaction will be the doom of me I probably won't intervene if she is to take it away again on some whim of hers.

 I'm just another failure of a human being of the kind produced by a post-traditional West. And I deserve nothing short of oblivion.