Politics + Other quizzes megapost

I've not announced this megapost at any point in the past of my blog, but it's not alltogether fortuitous (Although conversely* it did come to me in a recent flash of inspiration). I planned on making a post like this for a while, but I'm not good at dealing with the subject of politics using any touch of tactfullness; Be cautious in proceeding with this.

 Disclaimer out of the way, I'm going to start with the classic political compass.

  As can be seen, according to this version of the test I lean very slightly to the conservative (Presented as "authoritarian" on this chart; More straightforward is the labelling of liberalism as libertarianism) left. Notwithstanding** the test is blatantly biased in favor of the libertarian left (With loaded questions that put right-wingers or authoritarians in a bad light being telltale signs of the developers' political convictions).

 Being a man of the objective bend*** , I looked for other, more promising versions of this test I've seen posted around on specific anonymous imageboards, and found one that seemed blunt enough for me.

 Aaand it painted me as even more of a centrist. Socially because even though I'm completely okay with a dictatorship*****, I'm stauncly in favor of equality of opportunity and freedom of speech******. Economically I acknowledge the ups and downs of both ends of the spectrum, and while I'd like an utopian socialist state where people don't go hungry but at the same time can become millionares out of hard work as much as the next guy, I am fully aware of the reprecussions that come with excessive curfews on businessesses. To avoid appearing as a puerile socialist that has no knowledge of economics or a hypocritical (I'm lazy okay) neckbeard libertarian I have as of yet not adopted a stance on the spicier economic issues.

 Time to take this from the perspective of politics as a plane (Those educational videos have me talking in dimensions) to more nuanced stuff.

  This may prove a shift in tone, but the questions posed by this quiz very much appeared to be Google Translate'd from German to English which had some befuddling results. I'll promptly talk about each dicothomy as they come along.

 First we're greeted by the "Cosmopolitan - Nationalistic" axis - Which is complicated to me on the personal level. Being more versed in English than my first language should stand testimony to me being a cosmopolitan, and one can't say I'm a nationalist. But I'm not one not for lack of admiration for the concept of patriotism, but for lack of something to be patriotic about. This country is a mess, through and through. The culture is bad, the people - Which are at times so bad one could make a point they are genetically inferior to their neighbouring peoples - have only proven to be consistent in incompetence at exploiting the vast mineral wealth of the area, but I'd love being nationalistic for a "better" country, for lack of a better term. Though so far I've not shown to be capable of any national appreciation more dedicated than posting a few memes. I'm definetly not the "die for something" guy; But I salute those who are. A final point on this - To not be hypocritical I completely accept the idea of considering an immigrant that fully integrates in the autochtonous culture of the nation he is resident in a "ture nationalist".

 Up next comes secularism-fundamentalism. I'm a pretty secular person, but my beliefs are also more colorful on this subject.

 And buckle up lads because this is going to be edgy.

 While I've had trouble reconciling with my faith for a good while now, I believe that religion is essential to maintaining social order, cohesion, and thus society itself, in the form of a "noble lie" (For want of a proper term - I do not believe that religion is a lie or anything of the sort and respect people that manage to keep faith when confronted with the nihilism that the current social climate appears to stimulate.) Basically, stupid people should be kept almost completely religious. The effects of presenting atheism (or any contrarianism for the matter) to them are clearly reflected in current society - Everybody is repeating the same platitudes and sophistry (Muh dark ages! Muh crusades!) and pretending they are innovating anything at all in the grand scale of debating the subject. People that are shown to be smart could be presented the idea of agnosticism or atheism because they have proven that they can responsibly handle these ideas.

 "But how does one know which persons are unintelligent?" one might ask. Remember me mentioning equality of opportunity? In this theoretical society, if one advances from one layer of society to another through his own merit he could reach a point where he can accurately be classified as intelligent or unintelligent. I'm going to make a post about this fictional/ideal/edgy society in a future post. (It looks like I've taken some inspiration from Plato, but tbh I've never even opened his "Republic" and only know vague simplifications of the book's premises. Certainly want to read it though.)

 When it comes to visionary-reactionary I guess they're right when I'm labelled a reactionary - My attention span is a disaster. But we're talking in socio-political terms here - I'm equally long-term as I am short-term, I guess it depends on the situation.

 I think the test got me completely off on the anarchistic-authoritarian scale, my previous paragraphs being proof enough of that.

 No comment on communistic-capitalistic. I already said I'm not well-versed in economy and would rather not pick a side.

 I was classified as a pacifist because I answered to military questions in a whay that suggested I didn't want nations to act like a world police.

 Last but not least is the strikingly out-of-place anthropocentrist bar that juts out away from the other short four. This is not because I'm some caricature of a lunatic oil company CEO, because I am fully in support of businesses being put under ecological restrictions - But only because I believe that we should help nature as long as it is of service to humanity - And pumping out smog and puncturing the ozone layer like it's bubble wrap and we're hyperactive toddlers isn't of that much help to humanity is it? In this way I'm a total anthropocentrist - And even though I've shown disdain for many human beings in the past and will go on doing so, I still prize their life as human beings more than I would the life of, let's say, an elephant, endangered species as it is. My apparent collectivism still has the individual at mind - The responsibilities and discipline of the individual help consolidate society which in turn enables the individual to have rights and has so far proven to be the most reliable source of human contentment (Regardless of what that foxkin, green mohawk-wearing anarchist that frequents the starbucks down the road is going to tell you).

 I've prated on enough about serious stuff. Let's dabble into the memes.

 Stupefyingly, I have an affinity for both meme anti-establishment candidates. The results aren't very accurate because this particular test posed an amount of questions I though it wouldn't be healthy to answer even for a kid as weird as me. I'm with Donald on most economic, immigration, electoral, meme and education-related stuff, as the picture says, and with Bernie on education, foreign policy, science (Funding space travel) and criminal issues. My lack of satisfying answers becomes apparent when I get those high agreement percentages with candidates I've not heard of in my entire life.

I did do another test from the same site (Isidewith.com) as a bonus, and the result was much less indecisive.

Lub u Nigey

 I don't herald Farage as much as I do Trump; But I wish him godspeed in dealing with the Brexit in the only way acceptable.

 Definitely wish he got as much meme coverage as the emperor tbh.

 The last two test results don't even have anything to do with politics, just my personality, to offer a better image on what kind of depraved fascist sociopath would hold the beliefs that I do.

I'm a very well-spoken chap, you see.

 This is the more serious one:

 I'd go on in detail about what this all means, but I'll have to be terse for this last segment of my post. This personality type basically means that I'm the textbook eccentric or the mad scientist cartoon character. Here's the test if you are interested in it.

 I don't even know what direction I wanted to be heading towards with this. Megaposts were supposed to be cohesive references on who I am as a person but the debut of them has been a total mess. Maybe I'll do better with future ones, but so far things don't look promising.

___

 * - Searched this up in a thesaurus, I confess. 

 ** - Thesaurus'd this one too. Bls no bully.

 *** - Okay, okay, I plea guilty; The posh words I don't look up in a thesaurus are taken from a bloated, unorganized wordbox of mine that's been collecting etymological**** dust for the past few weeks and counting.

 **** - Googled this because I couldn't recall the word as of typing this. Sorry.

 ***** - Or a democracy where voting isn't a contrived right merely given away to the most incompetent and dangerous scum of society - or even worse, compulsory - but instead something that has to be earned. Nothing too extreme - and something that everybody with a morsel of responsibility could achieve, being employed for a few months or suchlike. I'm aware a sistem like this can be abused depending on the criteria that enables a citizen to vote, which I might adress at a later point in time.

 ****** - Look, I know it seems I support this just to be able to post fascist pepes without getting sent to prison for hate speech but believe me that there's more to it than that. Much, much more to it than that. *Sweats profusely*