I'm really shooting myself in the foot when trying to lose weight. While I ussualy gravitate around the 1200 calorie mark there are times when I give in to the HUNGRY FEELING. Today was one of those days, when my mother has actually outdone herself in cooking some very aesthetic chicken schnitzel. A lot of it too. I thought a relatively small bowl of it couldn't hurt too much as I've only eaten vegetables and fruit and drank one cup of chocolate milk.
I approximated that there were about 500 grams of it - mom's accounts of the original amount of meat purchased and what amount of it she gave to the cats we have beforehand considered. Which equals about 3200 calories. Even if those 500 grams would lose weight once cooked this is still a colossal amount. The bowl's volume is less than a litre, for reference.
I'm not touching chicken again* and seriously considering faking a constipation to get my parents to buy laxatives. There is precedent for this for me to be able to accomplish this.
And worst of all is that the HUNGRY FEELING still persists a little. This depression is getting out of hand.
I've decided against anti-depressants because I found out that most school shooters were on anti-depressants when committing the act from sources I'd rather not disclose. I'm not the most stable kid in the world and don't know what I'd do if I was to imbalance my brain's chemistry like that.
There is no end to the darkness.
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* - Being mostly hyperbolic here.
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