Saturday 22 October 2016

Title

 I'm currently facing an existential crisis/mental breakdown/depressive episode/depressive fit/anticipatory anxiety/vivid speculation about how my future will turn out so might as well make a blog post through this torrent.


 So Civilization 6 was released yesterday I think, an people seem to be overall content with it. The blemish that almost does it for me, the very sluggish movement of units, seems to be back in force times over with some terrain like hills even becoming unpassable for infantry in certain circumstances.

 Nonetheless I'm still interested in getting the game because it momentarily seems worth the price tag. Though it might be that I'm just pressed to make another impulsive purchase because all the games I currently own bore me to tears when I try playing them. My birthday is right up the corner so it could serve as consolation in the likely case Trump gets Hillary'd or as something to celebrate with if the stars and digits align to make him win.

 While the game is 200 local currency units here, I've matured discipline and financial responsibility enough for when I'll need it and I think I may as well exploit the three years and ten odd days I still have remaining of financial privileges granted by living with my parents.

 The point could be made that the sum isn't even that large*. Just as an example, today I had an ecography scheduled, to see if I do suffer from a bladder stone I've been suspecting for a time. But some further thought has led me to believe that the cause of some issues I'm experiencing might be something else entirely. These are details I really don't want to get into.

 Returning to the focal point, my parents take me to the clinic, at which point my mother talks with the cashier/clerk, signs the required papers for the both of us, and the receipt I recieve reveals that the fee for the process would be 150 of the local currency. I'd say it's not even that outstanding, seeing this was issued by a private firm. It's definitely not on the level of United States pricing.

 But it turns out that the detail of my age was lost during the process of my mother reserving this analysis for me, and the doctor which was supposed to conduct the operation tells the cashier he does not/cannot operate on minors**.

 So the analysis is cancelled, and we get a refund. Mother asks when can she schedule an examination with a doctor that can perform on me, and she is told that that will be Tuesday. She acknowledges this and we go home.

 There wasn't really anything ulterior to this event. I'm just trying to bloat this post because writing has proven to be soothing. Maybe it does because it helps keep me anchored in reality.

 I'm really losing it. I keep saying this, but each day it becomes truer.

 Oh well. One last curious happening, I stumbled upon this post on /his/:


  I hope I'm not compromising anybody by typing what I'm about to type but here goes nothing. The scenario portrayed bears an uncanny resemblance to the climate of the 9th grade I was in, and I speculate this could, albeit unlikely, be my history teacher.

 Progressive area? Check. In the very least, I live in one of the more developed parts of the nation.

 Lesbian student that talks about tumblr a lot? This is the only fragment of the story that doesn't really concur with my 9th grade. Back then a girl still used in my class (The same one that got groped by the character I endearingly christened subhuman #01***) who did browse tumblr, but she did not explicitly declare her browsing of the site, to my knowledge. Nor am I sure she was a lesbian, as she had a proffessed passion for Yaoi****. Her demeanor could have been generalized into such a description, however. I'm not sure if my history teacher would be willing to generalize this much.

 I've gone on enough with that point.

 Anime recommendation? Well, she was one of the three kids who had anime as one of their hobbies, so it's not out of the realm of possibility that she recommended the teacher (a big man, with a ponytail, that looks like a retired wrestler) Hetalia.

 Hilarious troll student? That could very well be me. I really wish I didn't have precocious dementia and remember if I actually did tell my teacher this. I definitely would've done this if this took place in the class.

 He also called me one of the smartest kids in class so if he really is behind this post it's good to know there's somebody out there that appreciates me.

wake me up inside
  What does this have to do with anything? Well, my teacher could browse /his/. That's a cool tidbit of knowledge on its own.

 But he has obliquely let on to what could be some awareness of imageboards in-class, in-person. I was supossed to retell this in a post about how "woke" two teachers of mine are but never got around to writing it, so I'll be telling this now.

 One of the kids in my class is a wehraboo - That is, he's got an appreciation for Nazi Germany/Hitler and from how I've observed his behavior it's because he thinks it's cool and not because he has any logical reasoning behind his position***** - and he happened to bring up something that made my teacher go in a bluster warning of the dangers of neo-fascist and neo-communist communities and their insidious outreach on the internet, how younger minds that are looking for belonging are much more susceptible to their rhetoric, etc. . In finalty, it fell on deaf ears because the kids in my class that flirt with these kind of ideologies will either outgrow them or never be able to be persuaded otherwise. What is not predicated on logic cannot be dispelled by logic.

 However, at some point he dropped a very specific detail about far-right online communities that greet themselves with "88" as a code/dogwhistle for "hh" or "heil hitler". This was definitely something that got into imageboard territory, and to drop a pebble and see how much it ripples as it were, I try to add something about some other habit of /pol/ posters (I forgot what exactly it was that I mentioned - this was a while back) and the immortal Pepe the frog. He nodded with somewhat of a smirk on his face upon my mention of this, but the commotion in the class as he did leads me to believe that he only did it to show his approval of me trying to contribute without having actually gotten the faintest clue about what I said.

 Or maybe, just maybe, a bit in me really hopes that the rabbit hole really goes deeper and I have a teacher that is 💯💯 woke and knowledgable about the culture war that is raging on the internet.

 But he's probably not.

 I'm closing off this blog post with attesting to the fact that I added some more words to my wordbox*******, but it seems like my brain has become completely impermeable to them - I could remember the meaning of none of them without having to look at them again. It's always been like this with the wordbox, throwing allegorical unidetified substances at an allegorical wall and hoping some of them stick, but this time none did. Have I hit peak vocabulary? Fortunately it might be only because I'm tired.



___

 * - Well, it's going to be when I'm a dead-end translator working for a stipend a book. Hence trying to exploit my circumstances while they last.
 ** - I'd guess the latter if he did not get specific credentials for pediatry.
 *** - To tell the truth, I have come think he's less of someone that is genetically predisposed to be thuggish and more of a victim of poor economic status. He's still a scummy being, but that does not mean I'm not discrediting my theory on a genetic hierachy in society by labeling anybody I don't like a subhuman.
 **** - Yaoi is basically this:
 (It's anything but)
 ***** - Unlike me the epin crypto-fascist that wants the parental-figure-substitute state to take away all the mean people that say mean things :^).
 ******* - Basically a repository of words I don't know accompanied with their definitions executed in the hopes of improving my English as my Romanian is absolutely pitiable.

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